Sen. Craig Not Gay; Troll-Hunters Flock to MN Airport

C’mon. Is this some kind of karmic debt for the Republicans or what? (Ok, I know this isn’t a political blog, but gracious I just can’t let this go by without saying something).

Poor, poor Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho), busted for soliciting an undercover cop for sex in a bathroom stall. Of course Senator Craig isn’t gay, as he said countless times in a press conference yesterday. This undoubtedly comes as a relief to his wife who is, I hope, packing her bags and calling her lawyer as I type.

If you’ve missed the fun, poor misunderstood and maligned Senator Craig was apparently hanging around outside the undercover cop’s stall OBVIOUSLY trying to score some bathroom action. I’m sorry Senator, but I’m not buying that the undercover cop just made all that stuff up about you tapping your foot, gesturing under the stall and then touching his foot against his under the stall (really Senator, you’ll twist your knee putting your foot that far under the stall divider. A man your age should be more careful).

Sorry dude; you’re gay. But you’re the worst kind of gay: the kind that deceives his wife and children and grandchildren and Idaho voters and Republican Presidential Candidates. Shockingly, it appears that Senator Craig has consistently voted AGAINST gay rights issues. Who could imagine such astounding hypocrisy?

Actually, I’m guessing that Mark Foley, former Republican FL Congressman; the late Jim West, former Republican mayor of Spokane, WA; Pastor Ted (Haggard), former head of the National Association of Evangelicals (and I’m guessing Republican, too); Glenn Murphy Jr., former chairman of the Clark County Indiana Republican Party and briefly the president of the Young Republicans; Jim McGreevy, former NJ Governor is admittedly a Democrat so isn’t likely part of the payback of this apparent Republican karmic debt, but he still seems like a member of this club somehow.

I’m not even sure what to wish for at this point. I admit that West made me mad, Haggard was a little delicious, and as one friend of mine put it “McGreevy sleeps with a man and lands on Oprah. Hell, I’ve slept with plenty of men; when’s MY turn on Oprah?!”

Mostly I wish (I’m wishing, I can ask for what I want) I wasn’t more and more disgusted by our elected officials as each day passes. Although I admit personally that I’m just waiting for WA State Senator Dan Swecker to cross the line. My favorite Senator Swecker line about the sinning homos: “Somehow that message has to get out. Because if people don’t realize that it’s a sin or there’s not an opportunity for redemption, then we’re going to lose them.” Thank God for Senator Swecker’s concern for the wayward homo-flock.

I’m buying pink flamingos for my front yard on the day he falls.


2 Responses to “Sen. Craig Not Gay; Troll-Hunters Flock to MN Airport”

  1. BitterOldMo says:

    How come straight people don’t have slutty sex in bathrooms?

    I give up.

  2. Despondent says:

    Maybe there’s a hidden community of slutty sex hets out there somewhere.

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