iPhone 3G – Day 1

It’s been coming for some time and I have been, on the periphery of my awareness, waiting patiently for its arrival.Two and a half years ago, I left the warm embrace of a large (too large, truth be told)wireless company and had to pay my own wireless bill for the first time. Damn. That shit’s expensive. So I’m ready to get rid of my cheap phone and step up to the 3G iPhone…or, as it says on the box: iPhone 3G. Clearly the iPhone takes precedence over the 3G part.I’m not a line guy. I’m going to wait until the lines have passed, then casually saunter up to get my iPhone 3G. I’m cooler than those dweebs who waited in line for their phones…for heaven’s sake, it’s a PHONE. 

Turns out I’m a line guy. Only about 15 minutes in line, but it’s enough to savor the experience. With my line-mates, I get the shpeal “We’re out of 16g iPhones and have only a limited supply of 8g”. “How limited?” we ask, thinking that this is easy.”I don’t know, everyone is on the floor selling iPhones, no one has the time to go count.” Really? Counting boxes is that kind of time consuming? This reeks of some corporate (read: random middle management) decision not to piss people off by telling them that there are 20 phones and having the 19th person in line get all to the front and be told that two people bought two (do the math). This ploy doesn’t work because We The Line People become pissed anyway off because Door Guy won’t count the damned boxes. A helpful woman (three people behind me in line, thank you very much) asks if he thinks the ‘limited supply’ numbers in the tens or in the hundreds. He counters (clever devil) with “I don’t know, everyone is on the floor selling iPhones, no one has the time to go count.” Stay on message at all costs.Whatever the final number is, it’s more than 8. I get to the front, and the 12 year old helpful Apple employee leads me into the store in the same way that Willie Wonka leads the children into the chocolate factory. In this image, I am Mike TV…cocky and sure of myself.

  • Yes, I have my ID, my credit card, and am an AT&T customer. 
  • Yes, I’m eligible for an upgrade; I’ve been out of contract for more than a year.
  • No, I don’t have any questions about the phone (I’m sure, in my Mike TV way, that I know more about 3G technology than the 12 year old does.
  • Yes, I’ll be paying with my debit card.

Congratulations Mr. Brisendine, you’re the proud new owner of an iPhone 3G. I am too jaded to be giddy until I hold it’s smooth, heavy goodness in my hand. I already love this phone and am shamed by that. I slink out. Happy day 1.

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